One Percent Chance

sexhaver:

i knew a dude in college who kept an old Smirnoff bottle full of water on his desk and would casually chug straight out of it in the middle of conversations with new people in order to establish dominance

rondovous:

in case you didn’t know i like spheals
they’re the little roly-poly prince seals to big beautiful king walruses
they are the best; they make me happy
spheals ♥

rondovous:

in case you didn’t know i like spheals

they’re the little roly-poly prince seals to big beautiful king walruses

they are the best; they make me happy

spheals ♥

pocketpsychologist:

seaminglycomplex:

This is the best ASL Bucket Challenge I’ve seen so far.

what had me cracking up was the way the mask deflated at the end

butt-grab:

so we went to an improv show and we played this game where somebody is given a trait and another player has to guess what it is based on how they answer questions

and one of the players who was a taxidermist was asked “what do you do for a living?” and she replied “oh you know…. stuff” AND TO THIS DAY THAT IS THE GREATEST PUN I HAVE EVER HEARD MY GOD

skullmoon:

"He was modelled after a specific raccoon, and it’s this little guy named Oreo" X

Stannis: Tell me what your flames see, Melisandre. Reveal to me what my brother Renly schemes.
Melisandre: He's coiffing his hair into a pompadour.
Stannis: *wordlessly screams and smashes another goblet*
black-knight-2000:

its-only-make-believe:

men are from mars, women are from venus, and nonbinary people are from pluto because everyone thinks that pluto isn’t a planet and that nonbinary genders aren’t genders